Tuesday, January 31, 2012

my big Paco Collars adventure

We drove down to Berkeley today to Paco Collars. The Lady loves Paco Collars. She told me she had wanted to get me one, but she was afraid that would jinx things. That if she got me something as permanent and meaningful as a Paco Collar, then I might die as soon as she slipped it around my neck.

I think she needs to examine her mental processes. 

So, instead of getting me a Paco Collar, she ordered herself a Paco Collar human bracelet. But she didn't know how to measure her wrist and the size she told them was way too big. So, we went down there to get it fixed.

While she was in the store she told the owner, Ana Poe, that she had a Bad Rap dog who was sick.

And guess what? Ana knew me back when I was in the Barn and she guessed it was me! I got to go in the store, and before we knew it, I had my own Paco Collar. Ana picked out a beautiful Martingale Jojo. I think it matches my fur perfectly, and the jade-green jewels highlight my elegance. 

The Martingale is perfect for me. It stays loose around the lumpuses on my neck, but I can't slip out of it, like if I see a cat and my jaws tell me 'Go get the Bad Cat!' Not a good time to slip out of my collar, so a Martingale is just the thing for me. 

I also don't think having my own Paco Collar will have any bad effects on my health. 

Here I am in a photo that Ana Poe took
of me in my new Paco Collar. The Lady says 
this is one of her favorite Bird looks. 

Here I am with an up-close view so 
you can see how nice the tan matches my 
fur and how pretty the green jewels are.

The Lady insisted on showing off her new bracelets too.

Griffin with Ranger Star
This is the one she ordered. 

While she was in the store 
she had to get this one too.

Friday, January 27, 2012

regime change

I heard The Lady whispering. About me and how well I'm doing. I have lots of energy - I even do zoomies! My fur is shining. The owies on my nose are clearing up. I've gained weight. And my neck lumpuses are shrinking. So...she thinks that I can manage a small amount of stress. In the form of training. 

I've heard her go on and on about the Nothing In Life Is Free program for dogs. Normal dogs. But she's held off because she didn't want to stress me in any way. For me so far it's been Everything In Life Is Free. She said I've become quite the spoiled monster and that it's time for a change. Apparently she thinks that I won't have a nervous breakdown learning Sit, Down and Stay. And maybe eventually even Watch Me, Leave It and Wait. 

I don't know what this training thing is, but she said it was going to be fun, like a big party that involves lots of yummy treats. Oh yeah, let's get started!

Here I am smiling, thinking about when I get to 
start my new Nothing In Life Is Free training program.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

all your beds are belong to us

I have powers. Normally I weigh just 45 pounds. But when I get up on the bed, right in the middle, with my head on The Lady's pillow, my body magically transforms into 50 million tons. The Lady thinks the middle of the bed and her pillow belong to her. She pushes me and pushes me, then begs me to move, then finally says, okay have it your way. Then she torques herself around my dead weight. Then we go to sleep. 
Here I am sleeping under the covers with my head on the pillow,
snoring into The Lady's ear. It's just better like this.

Here I am drifting off to sweet dreams.

Here I am curled up. Can't The Lady see that I'm
cold and need the covers pulled up over me?

Here I am in my rightful place, the middle of the bed. 

You get the idea. 

Friday, January 20, 2012

very very very

It's raining nonstop. It's very cold. It's very wet. I am very grateful that I have a warm dry home now and I don't have to roam alone and homeless outside in this wet cold. I am very grateful that I'm no longer hungry. I am very grateful.

Here I am being my up-close
demanding pushy self. My 
grateful demanding pushy self. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

24/7 contract

From last weekend: Again? Another workshop this weekend? You're leaving me all alone? What about our 24/7 contract?

Here I am trying to look my most pathetic so I 
can convince The Lady that leaving me alone for 
long periods of time is harmful to my health.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

fashion show

I have a new friend who sent me some presents. Mrs. MOOS. First she sent me some long-johns she sewed just for me. Then she sent me a Thundershirt. My very own Thundershirt! Thank you Mrs. MOOS!!! 

Here I am wearing my Mrs. MOOS long-johns. 
The Lady couldn't stop laughing when she was 
taking this picture. I don't know why.

The Lady said  that she thought I'm looking quite sausage-like in my Thundershirt. 
She said she meant that in a good way, meaning she's happy I'm no longer a bag of bones. 

Here I am wearing my stripey Thundershirt,looking all 
sausage-y. Notice that the shirt matches my collar. 

Friday, January 6, 2012

I need to vent

The Lady is bugging me. You'll notice I'm not calling her Nice Lady.

We know my body is a wreck, but since we've been to the vet, she's trying to remedy some of my problems. She thinks she's helping. I just see it as messing with me.

I have owies on my nose, kind of crusty, bloody, dried up scabs. She's been trying to swipe some Vitamin E on the crustiest parts. I yank my snout away, but it's like she's oblivious and keeps trying to get that goo on me.

I also have a lot of itching and hot spots. She tried spraying Vetericyn on me and I wasn't having any of that either. I snuck up real fast just to get the jerky bits she used to try to lure me closer, but I'm not stupid.

I have weepy eyes too, but the most she tries to do is wipe them every once in a while when they get really bad.

Here I am with my weepy eyes. I think it looks 
like I am a club diva with lots of eye liner.

AND...enough with the camera. I don't like it. She doesn't seem to be getting the message, even though I've started turning away when she points her iPhone at me. If she'd look at her Camera Roll, she'd notice that 90% of the photos are me with my back turned to her. Hello!!!!

Here I am sulking, with my back turned. 

On the plus side, the food has been out of this world.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

my visit to the vet

Nice Lady took me to the vet today, who turned out to also be a Very Nice Lady. I weighed 46.5 pounds today. I've come a long way from the 28 pounds I weighed in October when I was eating dead pigeons off the Oakland sidewalks.

The vet said, no more grains in my diet. Now it's going to be home cooked meals, with lots of sardines added. Fish and chicken, eggs, sweet potatoes and greens and fish oil. And best of all, the vet said I should be eating 5-6 times a day because my tumors make it like I'm pregnant. I'm eating for two, my tumors then me. And she said I still don't weigh enough, so I need to eat lots more than I have been. I don't want to be sick, but I have to say, this seems like a very good deal for me.

Here I am taking a snooze in
my favorite sunny spot after
the visit to the vet. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

bad language

The Lady calls my ears my 'clippities.' How they got that way is not my fondest memory. Today she told me that she thinks my ears make me look like a cat. Huh? I thought we had rules about no bad language in this house. 

Here I am with my 'clippities.'

Oh, and I hope everyone gets what they want in 2012. 
I think The Lady is figuring out what I want:
My butt scratched.
Long sniffing sessions.
Letting me sleep curled up on her.
Lots of protein that was once an animal.