another surprise from the vet

This just came unexpectedly in the mail today from the vet. Bird's ceramic paw print. Once again, I had no idea they were going to do this. My sweet Bird, I miss you.

memento

Carla, one of Bird's friends, ordered and sent me this beautiful memento to Bird. I've put it in the garden in front of my house, a place that Bird loved to sun herself and dig her big holes.

Thank you, Carla, for your loving generosity.

just because

bird's paw

I received a condolence card in the mail yesterday signed by my vet, Dr. Katheryn Hinkle, and all of her staff at the Animal Hospital of Cotati. On the front of the card was Bird's paw print. I had no idea this was coming and was blindsided by it. One look at the paw and my grief exploded. But having Bird's paw print is a treasure for me. 

Here's my paw print that

the vet sent to my Lady. 

colleen's video

Just in case you didn't see this - Colleen Powell made a very beautiful and loving video tribute to Bird. Here's the link. Thank you, Colleen.

http://vimeo.com/42316518

i'm Home now

It turned out be an early departure this morning. It was time. I flew Home in the arms of my Lady and my OM.  Thank you for giving me my beautiful life. 

 Here I am, just before I flew Home this morning.

Thank you, everyone, for your outpouring of love.

Because I was love.

Here's my Fetching Tags tag. 

Scratch my butt was one 

of my favorite things. 

Here's my beautiful Paco Collar 

with the green jewels that Ana Poe 

picked out just for me, with my 

Scratch My Butt Fetching Tags tag.

My favorite food

I love my Lady and my OM. Thank you for sending them love. 

til the wheels fall off, redux

I was reading all your comments and I realized that Blogger tricked me. I had written some other important things, that I don't see now. So, I'm back. One of the important things Blogger swallowed was my flight time.

It is tomorrow, Thursday at 4pm, California time.

And until that very moment, I'll keep living til the wheels fall off. Tonight me and my Lady had cheezburgers, fries and a vanilla shake at In N Out Burger. We stopped there and did the same thing the day she came and got me at the Bad Rap Barn. Yes, it was very delicious.

Here I am slurping up my

vanilla shake.

And just because....

Here I am, asking,

'Are you coming?'

birdy soon flies Home

We went to the vet yesterday. The Lady and OM had a long talk with her about me. The vet listened to my lungs and could tell that I am having to work very hard to move air, and suggested it was time. She told the Lady we could do it then or take a few days. The Lady decided to take a few days.

Here I am, sending you love. 

Last November my Lady wrote a novel titled The Reunion Song. Right before she met me. In the book, the Reunion Song is sung in a place named Home. People and all kinds of animals live there, and they sing this song to help all of us come Home. Someone there is always singing the song. The Lady sang the song to me and now I can hear them singing to help me fly Home. I want you to hear the song too. It goes like this:

‘We are singing the Reunion Song. The Song goes like this: Here we are, we’ve always been here. All are welcome. All are loved. Welcome Home. Welcome. You are loved.  This goes on. This never stops. We are singing now, the Reunion Song.’

Thank you, everyone who helped me. Thank you, my Lady for loving me and giving me my home. Thank you everyone for all your love. And thank you now for helping me fly Home. I will never forget you. I love you. Your Bird. 

Here I am, on my way Home. 

how it's going

This morning the Lady told me her dog ears weren't working as good as she wanted and couldn't hear if it was time to schedule my trip home yet, so we have an appointment with the vet this afternoon at 5pm to assess my flight status. 


Yesterday, despite being on my death bed, I managed to have a good dig in the dirt when the Lady wasn't looking.

Here's the hole I dug yesterday

while the Lady wasn't looking.

Today, so far, I've had a good day. For breakfast I had two tins of my favorite food - sardines. After breakfast, I spent time on the porch soaking up the sun. Later the Lady took me out into the yard and the orchard and let me meander through a long, yummy sniff. She even let me eat the cat poo lumps that she usually pulls me away from. 

Here I am soaking up the morning sun. 

I don't smell so good, the odor that wafts from my back end. But you might not either, if you'd been on my sardine diet. I don't care. I don't think the Lady minds too much either. 


Later, back in the house, I climbed up into her lap in the armchair. She cried and I licked her tears. She thinks I don't understand all these code words, that I don't know what's going on. But I know. 

Here I am with my big belly, 

soaking up my Lady from her red fleece.

As you can see, I'm not dead yet, but I'm not very comfortable. We'll see what the vet has to say.  No matter what, I'm happy to have had this sweet life.

just in case

I'll get right to the point. I'm not doing so well. At all. I think I've finally started on that flight path Home. So, just in case, I want to start saying goodbye now, while I can. I have some infections that won't clear up, because my immune system is pretty much offline now. My paws are a wreck. My vet has tried treating my paw infections for bacteria, fungus and yeast and they're not getting better.

I am tired and sleep a lot. Sometimes my Lady gives me a bully stick and I'm not interested.

And the most ironic thing is that I now look fat! After all that starving and dragging around my bag of bones, to end up so puffed up and bloated around the middle, I hardly know what to say. It happened in one week. My belly now looks like I eat five meals a day, with my bowl filled with peanut butter and bacon grease syrup. But I sometimes don't even finish my meal. It's like that.

My Lady has asked me to tell her when it's time to help me fly Home. I'm not there yet. But it feels like soon. I just want everyone to know so it's not a surprise.

I love you. Thank you for making the last part of life so beautiful. I have been the happiest of dogs, loving my Lady, having all the yummy food, sharing my story, and living in the heart of so much love.

I'll write again if I can. This is just in case.

Thank you.
I love you,
Your Bird

Here I am  with my yucky paws, 

my big belly, and my full heart,

sending you love. 

my blue jewel

I was sick a few days ago, for two days. I threw up three times in one day and looked like someone had vacuumed all the life out of me. The Lady was quite distraught. She thought that I was At The End. I thought there was another reason I didn't feel well.

She has a friend that she talks to all the time on her iPad. That thing that let's them sniff each other's muzzles. I think it's called Face Time, though I think Muzzle Time is a better name. Anyway, her friend was sick, and had a couple of days of throw-up and the icky poop. I think I caught that bad bug through the iPad. The Lady rolled her eyes and told me that's not how it works, but it's okay for us to disagree.

Then, The Lady made a discovery today that she thinks might account for my bad tummy. She found this boot of hers that I'd recently snacked on.

Here's the boot that I snacked on.

When she picked it up and was inspecting my handiwork, she heard a rattling around noise. She shook the boot, and guess what? I had left a small gift in the boot for her, like a present tucked inside a Christmas stocking. One of my teeth. A molar.

Here's the Christmas gift I left tucked inside the boot. 

Anyway, I'm all better now, and no one has to worry. I was just sick like normal people and dogs. Because a bad bug seeped through Muzzle Time on her iPad. It was not The End.

Also, she's taken to calling my blue eye my blue jewel. I can't feel the difference between my eyes, but I'm glad I have treasure in my body that I can give my Lady.

Here I am with my blue jewel.

gooshy and warm

I see my Lady told you all about my visit to the vet and how I'm doing. I read all your comments and feel all gooshy and warm inside your love. 


While the Lady was writing I was busy with important stuff. Like I dug a humungous hole at the edge of the garden. I placed it precisely to make it the best possible tripping opportunity for the gardener. I hope he appreciates the care I took. And even though I told the Lady I was going outside to dig a big hole, when she saw my muzzle and paws encrusted in dirt, and found my hole, she was shocked. I don't understand. I told her. 

Here I am after digging my hole. 

Notice how much dirt I was able to 

get on my nose, toes and speedboat.

Here's the really big hole I dug.

And the lumpus wound drops the vet gave me are working very fast. I'm finally out of the speedboat and wretched hard clear plastic cone of misery.

Here I am last night without my speedboat. 

If you look closely, you can see my 

Fetching Tags tag. It says, 

Scratch My Butt. Which is my favorite thing.

til the wheels fall off

It's Bird's Lady writing today. We went to the vet yesterday. I asked Bird if she wanted to write a blog post and she said, how about you write it today, I want to go outside and dig a big hole in the garden. So, I'm writing and she's digging.

The vet said the lumpus wasn't really a lymphoma lumpus. She thought it was a fungal infection, and gave me some drops for it. She felt that a surgical solution was not a good way to go with Bird. So, drops it is. After just two applications, the wound is starting to heal.

She palpated Bird and commented that the area around her diaphragm and lungs was stiffer, that the tumors feel like they've grown. Bird wheezes often now. When the time comes to let her go, it will probably be because she can't breathe.

She also has had a hard time defecating. But not because her stool is hard. The vet explained that the tumors have grown around her lumbar spine, making it hard for Bird to assume 'the position' so that she has to strain. She suggested I increase the amount of fish oil I put into her food.

So, I know this post is not written in the usual light, humorous manner. The vet thought Bird was definitely showing signs of weakness. I want to prepare everyone that loves her. She may be on the decline. I know I was in denial, almost as if she was a regular dog. And old girl, but not sick. So, here it is. Who knows how long she has. To me it feels like maybe two months. How do I know? I couldn't say. I could be totally wrong. But I don't want to just post one day out of the blue and tell you she's gone.

Thank you for all of your precious love, Anneke

Here we are, living and loving til the wheels fall off.

speedboat

The Lady went away on a business trip again to Colorado. That's why I haven't been able to let you know how I've been, because she always takes the computer when she travels. I asked The Lady to get me my own computer, but she just rolled her eyes and said, no. She said, if I wanted my own computer, I would have to get a job, like shoveling snow or mowing lawns. I rolled my eyes.


My OM stayed with me, and we had a good time. I've been kinda constipated so OM gave me lots of extra greens, and pumpkin and olive oil, which did the trick. Eating extra was not a chore. 


My leg lumpus wound is not better. It's worse, so we're going to see the Nice Lady Vet this Monday to get it taken care of. 


In the meantime, I've been living in various forms of e-collar. The one I wear most often looks like a life vest, like what I'd wear if I got to go on a speedboat. The Lady has taken to calling me Speedboat.


I know I don't look so great in this photo. I was in my post-breakfast-about to fall asleep mode. Plus it's raining out and the sound makes me drowsy. But I'm really okay, so no one needs to worry. 

Here I am ready to go for 

a zoom in the speedboat.

less than pleased

I have a lumpus on my leg that I can't seem to leave alone with my mouth, so I've ended up in this wretched thing. The Lady has got to be kidding, right? She tried a softer collar, but I was able to push it right off with my paw. Not so much with this one. Someone please come save me...

Here I am trapped in my cone of misery.

deep gaze

Here I am communing with my OM.

my garden

Yesterday was the three-month anniversary of me coming home to live with The Lady.

This morning The Lady thought I was out on the porch sunning myself. But I had more important things to do, like burying my bully stick in the garden dirt.

Here's the bully stick I buried.

Here I am with my dirt nose, which always 
gives me away. The Lady doesn't like me 
digging because I get my nose involved, and 

the dirt-digging makes my nose break out in yucky sores.

she's home!

The Lady is home from from her trip to Colorado. Living with OM (Other Mommy) was fine, but I think my ways stressed her out a little bit. Like how I don't really poop on a schedule. She had to go to work most days and was afraid she would come home to a big pile of poop in the kitchen, since I wouldn't poop before she left. 


I did not leave any piles of poop anywhere. 


Also, my leg grew a brand new lumpus while The Lady was gone. It looks like a tree branch trying to grow a new limb. 

Here I am with my new leg lumpus.

I am very happy The Lady is home. I think my new lumpus grew just so I had a welcome home present to give to The Lady. 

waiting

The Lady went on a trip to Colorado for 12 days. She left yesterday. OM (Other Mommy) is staying with me and taking care of me. I feel kind of lost without The Lady. I'm telling you about this because she took the computer and I won't be able to do anymore posts until she gets home.

Here I am thinking about The Lady 

and wondering, "When you coming home?"

risky

Regarding the McDonald's thing last week: here's proof that 

having my vicious pit bull self in your proximity is a great risk. 

Here I am being very dangerous with my OM (Other Mommy)

rebuffed

I had sardines for breakfast. I don't understand why The Lady won't let me kiss her.

Here I am licking my chops after 

my delicious sardine breakfast.

dirt dog

I had a big dig in the dirt today. 

my big Paco Collars adventure

We drove down to Berkeley today to Paco Collars. The Lady loves Paco Collars. She told me she had wanted to get me one, but she was afraid that would jinx things. That if she got me something as permanent and meaningful as a Paco Collar, then I might die as soon as she slipped it around my neck.

I think she needs to examine her mental processes. 

So, instead of getting me a Paco Collar, she ordered herself a Paco Collar human bracelet. But she didn't know how to measure her wrist and the size she told them was way too big. So, we went down there to get it fixed.

While she was in the store she told the owner, Ana Poe, that she had a Bad Rap dog who was sick.

And guess what? Ana knew me back when I was in the Barn and she guessed it was me! I got to go in the store, and before we knew it, I had my own Paco Collar. Ana picked out a beautiful Martingale Jojo. I think it matches my fur perfectly, and the jade-green jewels highlight my elegance. 

The Martingale is perfect for me. It stays loose around the lumpuses on my neck, but I can't slip out of it, like if I see a cat and my jaws tell me 'Go get the Bad Cat!' Not a good time to slip out of my collar, so a Martingale is just the thing for me. 

I also don't think having my own Paco Collar will have any bad effects on my health. 

Here I am in a photo that Ana Poe took

of me in my new Paco Collar. The Lady says 

this is one of her favorite Bird looks. 

Here I am with an up-close view so 

you can see how nice the tan matches my 

fur and how pretty the green jewels are.

The Lady insisted on showing off her new bracelets too.

Griffin with Ranger Star

This is the one she ordered. 

XDog

While she was in the store 

she had to get this one too.

regime change

I heard The Lady whispering. About me and how well I'm doing. I have lots of energy - I even do zoomies! My fur is shining. The owies on my nose are clearing up. I've gained weight. And my neck lumpuses are shrinking. So...she thinks that I can manage a small amount of stress. In the form of training. 


I've heard her go on and on about the Nothing In Life Is Free program for dogs. Normal dogs. But she's held off because she didn't want to stress me in any way. For me so far it's been Everything In Life Is Free. She said I've become quite the spoiled monster and that it's time for a change. Apparently she thinks that I won't have a nervous breakdown learning Sit, Down and Stay. And maybe eventually even Watch Me, Leave It and Wait. 


I don't know what this training thing is, but she said it was going to be fun, like a big party that involves lots of yummy treats. Oh yeah, let's get started!

Here I am smiling, thinking about when I get to 

start my new Nothing In Life Is Free training program.

all your beds are belong to us

I have powers. Normally I weigh just 45 pounds. But when I get up on the bed, right in the middle, with my head on The Lady's pillow, my body magically transforms into 50 million tons. The Lady thinks the middle of the bed and her pillow belong to her. She pushes me and pushes me, then begs me to move, then finally says, okay have it your way. Then she torques herself around my dead weight. Then we go to sleep. 

Here I am sleeping under the covers with my head on the pillow,
snoring into The Lady's ear. It's just better like this.

Here I am drifting off to sweet dreams.

Here I am curled up. Can't The Lady see that I'm
cold and need the covers pulled up over me?

Here I am in my rightful place, the middle of the bed. 

You get the idea. 

very very very

It's raining nonstop. It's very cold. It's very wet. I am very grateful that I have a warm dry home now and I don't have to roam alone and homeless outside in this wet cold. I am very grateful that I'm no longer hungry. I am very grateful.

Here I am being my up-close

demanding pushy self. My 

grateful demanding pushy self. 

24/7 contract

From last weekend: Again? Another workshop this weekend? You're leaving me all alone? What about our 24/7 contract?

Here I am trying to look my most pathetic so I 

can convince The Lady that leaving me alone for 

long periods of time is harmful to my health.

fashion show

I have a new friend who sent me some presents. Mrs. MOOS. First she sent me some long-johns she sewed just for me. Then she sent me a Thundershirt. My very own Thundershirt! Thank you Mrs. MOOS!!! 

Here I am wearing my Mrs. MOOS long-johns. 

The Lady couldn't stop laughing when she was 

taking this picture. I don't know why.

The Lady said  that she thought I'm looking quite sausage-like in my Thundershirt. 

She said she meant that in a good way, meaning she's happy I'm no longer a bag of bones. 

Here I am wearing my stripey Thundershirt,looking all 
sausage-y. Notice that the shirt matches my collar. 

I need to vent

The Lady is bugging me. You'll notice I'm not calling her Nice Lady.

We know my body is a wreck, but since we've been to the vet, she's trying to remedy some of my problems. She thinks she's helping. I just see it as messing with me.

I have owies on my nose, kind of crusty, bloody, dried up scabs. She's been trying to swipe some Vitamin E on the crustiest parts. I yank my snout away, but it's like she's oblivious and keeps trying to get that goo on me.

I also have a lot of itching and hot spots. She tried spraying Vetericyn on me and I wasn't having any of that either. I snuck up real fast just to get the jerky bits she used to try to lure me closer, but I'm not stupid.

I have weepy eyes too, but the most she tries to do is wipe them every once in a while when they get really bad.

Here I am with my weepy eyes. I think it looks 

like I am a club diva with lots of eye liner.

AND...enough with the camera. I don't like it. She doesn't seem to be getting the message, even though I've started turning away when she points her iPhone at me. If she'd look at her Camera Roll, she'd notice that 90% of the photos are me with my back turned to her. Hello!!!!

Here I am sulking, with my back turned. 

On the plus side, the food has been out of this world.